Meeting prep · Take this with you
Before your meeting — one page.
truth4parents.com
England & Wales
For child protection conferences, core groups, child in need meetings and PLO meetings. General information, not legal advice — if you are in proceedings or the PLO, speak to your solicitor first. Legal aid for parents in care proceedings is free and non-means-tested.
Before
What to bring
- Your chronology, printed and up to date — your dated record of every meeting, letter and call.
- The report or letter the meeting is about, with tabs or marks on the pages you want to raise.
- Your written list of questions (middle column) — you will not remember them in the room.
- A supporter — a friend, relative or advocate. Tell the chair in advance that they are coming.
- Evidence of anything they asked for last time — certificates, attendance letters, texts, appointment cards.
- Your solicitor’s details, if you have one.
- A pen — and this sheet.
During
What to ask
- “What exactly is the concern, in plain words?”
- “What needs to change, by when — and how will you measure it?”
- “Who is doing what, by what date?” Every action should have a name and a date on it.
- “What support are you offering us — not only what is required of us?”
- “When will I get a copy of the minutes and the plan?”
- “If I disagree with something, how is my disagreement recorded?”
- If a word or phrase is unfamiliar — ask them to say it plainly. That is a reasonable request, every time.
After — the same day
What to write down
- Who was there — names and roles.
- What was decided, and the exact words of anything significant.
- What you agreed to do, and by when.
- What they agreed to do, and by when.
- Anything you disagreed with — and whether your disagreement was noted.
- Add one line to your chronology while it is fresh.
- When the minutes arrive — check them against your notes. Correct any errors in writing, and keep a copy of your correction.
Three things people wish they’d known
- You can ask for a break at any point. Stepping out to gather yourself is not held against you — losing your temper can be.
- You do not have to sign anything in the room. It is reasonable to say: “I’d like to read this properly, or show my solicitor, before I sign.”
- Calm disagreement, on the record, is not “failing to work with professionals.” It is how the record gets corrected.
The posture that works
Steady, specific, written down. Meetings reward the parent who arrives with dates and questions, not the parent with the strongest feelings — however justified those feelings are.
Do this today
- Print this sheet and fill in your questions the night before.
- Print and cut out the pocket question cardspocket question cards — truth4parents.com/understanding/meeting-prep/cards to hold in the room.
- Afterwards, use the meeting debriefmeeting debrief — truth4parents.com/understanding/meeting-prep/debrief to get what happened into your chronology the same day.
- Start or update your chronology: the chronology buildertruth4parents.com/understanding/records/chronology.
- Check any unfamiliar term in the glossary: plain-English glossarytruth4parents.com/glossary.
- Ask someone you trust to come with you.